Faith to Sight

The Lighthouse Project kids returned to Russia Sunday from Chicago. So much wonderful has happened, I struggle both deciding where to start and how to artfully craft the news into one coherent post. Currently, it seems plausible every child could return permanently, should they consent. Five children have families with definitive intentions to adopt; the other five have families at least seriously considering them. After nine go-rounds, this is my first trip to end with every child having adoption prospects.

Denis L. has more than a prospect; he has a family. The boy who asked his orphanage director daily when he could return to America to find his family had his faith turned to sight late last week. (Michigan, Meet Denis 2/27/09) In mid-February Heather called me because she’d heard I was concerned about Russian people. She surprised me by requesting prayer for a Russian friend of hers, rather than asking about Lighthouse. When I launched into my Lighthouse spiel anyway, she asked to ride along when I drove across town to pick up Russian Bibles for VBS. Two days before the kids’ arrival, my mom was hospitalized, so someone else got the Bibles instead. I sent Heather an e-mail apology. Her reply was gracious, and she confessed a heavy heart for Denis. The trip unfolded without leads for him, so late in the week I contacted her again, asking her to come meet him. Her family agreed more eagerly than I expected, falling in love in short order. By Saturday, they knew they were Denis’s family and they promised to match his persistence by asking daily, “When does Denis get to come home to his family in America?” Adopted at age sixteen herself, Heather’s ache to pass the gift of a family to another child has been heartwarming, to say the least.

The trip’s first Saturday brought an end thirteen-year-old Lisa prayed for almost six years would happen sometime. (Cheering, 3/5/09) Adopted from Russia years ago by a Michigan family who discovered impossibly late that she had a younger sister named Lima in a different orphanage, Lisa and Lima met once in Russia, to say goodbye. At home in Michigan, Lisa settled in but couldn’t forget the sibling she’d left behind. Faithfully praying, Lisa tirelessly informed everyone she met that her biological sister was waiting in Russia for her family to find her. Those prayers finally got an emphatic affirmative when an Oklahoma family heard Lima’s story and traveled to host her in March. While Lima’s path has been a circuitous one, it wound last week through Grand Rapids, where Lisa and Lima had the reunion Lisa always knew in her heart would happen. Trying to make up for lost time, the girls enjoyed a sleepover, a pizza party, picking out curtain fabric for Lima’s new room, and having their mom and mom-to-be, who both love to sew, make matching dresses.

Nine-year-old Denis E. had a churchful of prayer warriors behind him as he sought his parents. Learning he loved farm animals, his hosts’ friend made a “prayer blanket” out of chicken-themed fabric, bringing it to church with numerous untied strings dangling. Congregants willing to pray for Denis throughout the week each tied a string, finishing the blanket in less than one-half hour. As Denis charmed everyone at the evening program with his infectious smile and darling carrot poem recitation, I knew the church’s prayers would be answered. They were: Denis will be the first child of a mom and dad who promptly began missing him as soon as he left.

Fourteen-year-old Nikolai, on his final trip, found a family desirous of adopting him, though huge financial challenges loom. (Smile, Nikolai! 3/30/09) The night after they met him, he pointed to the chairs where they sat during the meeting and implored his host parents, “Mama? Papa?” Still paying off two previous adoptions, the might-be family needs very significant financial assistance to make Nikolai their son. Given the difficulty I had finding families to even speak with about Nikolai, I find myself believing that God, who led me to a family who wants to parent him, can lead me to another who wants to provide the means.

Jesus commended the faith of little children; several had theirs turned to sight in Michigan last week. I’m older, but still trusting for Nikolai. I was not alone in my prayers for him; may our mutual faith, weak as it is, turn to sight.

Choking Up

I love writing. Educating and entertaining are my aims; the stat counter on the right is my report card. While being read is every writer’s dream, my sense of purpose and responsibility comes less from numbers and more from action my writing impels others to. Learning my words were God’s gentle prompting, helping usher a hopeless child into a family, is a thrill I’ll never outlive.

My remuneration is the sheer joy I derive from pounding out clarion calls. A few months ago I wrote about a mom from my March 2008 trip, struggling to raise funds for fourteen-year-old Inna’s adoption. (Struggling, 2/2/09) A lady who works part-time as a tax preparer read Inna’s story, called me, and offered an entire week’s salary to help get Inna home. Knowing my writing prompted this generosity from one who felt the donation’s pinch was as good as having been paid myself.

February’s first post featured Ekaterina, a girl with aspirations of being a chef. (Marching On, 2/2/09) One of the kids on March’s Grand Rapids trip, she was in imminent need of a family before her birthday. After seeing the post and photo, a dear Oklahoman was led to host her in Michigan. Yearning to be in a family rather than on the street, Ekaterina yesterday opined to a babushka that nobody wants a fifteen-year-old. For dinner tonight Ekaterina baked chicken but ate crow when my friends asked her to be their daughter. She joyfully consented amidst tears and hugs, asking the translator, “Do they really want me?! Do they like me?!” Being wrong never felt so good.

Less satisfying are the blog hits from Monday and Tuesday. After my post about Nikolai, his best friend Sergei’s new parents forwarded the link to everyone on their e-mail lists, straining to find the family God has chosen. Monday, the day I posted Nikolai’s story, my blog set its record for daily traffic; Tuesday, it was dramatically eclipsed, doubling Monday’s short-lived benchmark. Flushed prematurely with pride in the numbers, the less gratifying reality was no resultant calls. Sergei’s dad confided he was severely choked up reading Nikolai’s post, adding, “If I’m any kind of a good dad at all, I need to be able to tell my son that I did my best to help find his best friend a family…” I repaid the compliment by choking up at the sentiment, the effort, and the lack of response roused by our college try.

Today I conversed with a caller, adopted herself at an older age, about a child I worried might be especially difficult to place. At the close of our discussion, she offered the most heartfelt thanks I’d ever received. Thanking me for what I do for kids, she said that someone adopting her when she was older “made an eternal difference,” adding, “I am where I am today because someone did it for me.”

Pondering this profundity, and trusting Nikolai might one day echo it, I resolved to fight on in faith to make this his testimony, too.

And talk about choking up...

Smile, Nikolai!

Some Lighthouse kids are self-promoters, finding their families by force of personality. Some are clingy, finding their families when the parents realize they’re needed. Other kids come compliant, good, and quiet; were they not in your photos, you’d forget they were there. Nikolai, newly fourteen, reserved and unassuming, is such a boy. In Tulsa in January, other boys his age were boisterous, more bother, and adopted; Nikolai’s cooperation was less requited. Now in Grand Rapids, agreeable again, his future is jeopardized by factors outside his control: age, gender, and personality. He needs and wants a family, oblivious that on a Lighthouse trip, it’s possible to be so good and so little trouble that you’re overlooked.

Nikolai dreamed of visiting America, though rumors circulate incessantly around his orphanage that Americans adopt Russian children to harvest their body parts. Asked about his best friend, Nikolai described a boy he appreciated for his reliability and trustworthiness. But as of December, Nikolai’s friend was gone to Michigan, the first child adopted from their orphanage, ever. Without parents, friends in the orphanage become family, and Nikolai’s mournful eyes stared out the window as his best friend left with his new mom and dad, lacking any expectation they’d meet again. Traveling with Lighthouse in January, Nikolai arrived in Tulsa and phoned his friend daily, finding him not an organ donor, but a loved and cherished son. Ultimately Tulsa offered no family for Nikolai, but he enjoyed his first trip enough to return to America when opportunity knocked again two months later.

Quietly compliant here also, on day two of the trip I might panic prematurely that all is lost. But I’m not, yet anyway, because Nikolai has a reliable and trustworthy mentor, his best friend Sergei, providentially living with his new family immediately across the street from Nikolai’s Grand Rapids host family. When Nikolai arrived late Friday night, Sergei and his dad went to the host family’s home and stayed over an hour. Relishing his role as a voice of experience, Sergei showed Nikolai around, explained rules, and offered pointers that he, as my favorite Lighthouse child ever, was uniquely qualified to give. (It's a Boy!, 12/9/08) and (Welcome Home! Welcome Home!, 12/21/08)

Back at home after showing his best friend the ropes, Sergei’s parents went through their bedtime rituals with him. As a fifteen-year-old American boy, Sergei could feel too old to be tucked in by his mom and dad. But as a child only a few months removed from the loveless existence of orphanage life, Sergei harbors no such pretensions, soaking up this birthright of childhood. As his parents said their good nights, Sergei shared how he’d advised Nikolai to smile a lot, let his personality shine through, and show he was having fun so someone would want him to join their family. His mom encouragingly enthused, “You’re such a good friend!”

“He’s a good friend, too,” Sergei said. “That’s why I want to help him have a family.”

Get Ready, Grand Rapids!

Arriving Friday, March 27, in Grand Rapids:

Cheery Lima, eleven, is called “the sunshine girl” at her orphanage. This upcoming Saturday afternoon she fulfills her dream of seeing her biological sister Lisa who was adopted in America five years ago. Lisa has been asking everyone she meets if they would adopt her sister. Because Lima loves to help people, she hopes to be a doctor.

Anton, eleven, loves dogs and cats. His teacher says he is one of the best students in his fifth grade class. His favorite subjects are math and physical education. He is very athletic and enjoys basketball, volleyball, and soccer. He wants a brother, sister, mom, and dad.

Denis E., nine, likes school and would like to be a teacher so he could teach kids to be good. He likes math because he can solve problems. He likes cows, chickens, and geese, and would like to have a dog to protect his home and a cat to protect his home from mice.

Denis L., thirteen, dreams of being a “train driver” some day. He likes winter and skiing, eats hamburgers and pie, and believes in God since some kind soul has taken him to church. He was on an August trip to Wisconsin. His orphanage director says he goes to her office every single day asking when he can go to America again to find his family.

Dmitry, nine, is in second grade, where he is earning good marks. He likes to draw, play soccer, and play with his many friends. He likes to eat meat and rolls. He would like a career as a builder. Dmitri would like to have a family.

Maya, twelve, is in fourth grade, where she enjoys math because she thinks it’s interesting to solve problems. She has a good sense of humor. She would like to be a cook when she is older. Her mother died, so Maya would like a new mother. The new mother should be kind, and Maya will be kind to her also. She dreams of having a family which also includes a kind father.

Quiet Nikolai, newly fourteen, was in Oklahoma in January, but didn’t find his family there. This trip, his host family lives across the street from his best friend from the orphanage, a boy who just arrived home in Michigan in December 2008. Nikolai would like to be a builder.

Ekaterina, fifteen, loves to cook and aspires to be a chef working in her own restaurant, specializing in typical cuisine from around the world. She is in critical need of a family; she will be unable to enter the United States on an orphan’s immigrant visa once she reaches her sixteenth birthday in early November.

Vladimir, nine, loves homework and calls English one of his favorite subjects. Vladimir won my heart when he sang his best-loved song, “We Wish You a Merry Christmas” in adorable Russian-accented English in a precious interview he gave.

Still Waiting

I have a heavy heart today for four children, since I have no leads and no ideas. There are other children I am not confident have adoptive families, though I have significant leads. These kids still wait:

Nikolai, age 13

Nikolai is in 7th grade. He likes physical education and likes drawing. He would like to be a builder some day. He has a best friend whom he appreciates for his reliability and trustworthiness. Nikolai's one wish is to go to America to see what it's like here.

Anton, age 13

Anton is doing well in sixth grade; math and Russian are his favorite subjects. His favorite color is black; his favorite season is summer. He is able to crochet anything. Anton speaks a little English. He would like to be a truck driver and have a family. He believes in God, and told his interviewer that God tells us to forgive and be kind. Because of this, Anton tries to be kind. Anton amazed his host family his first day here with the swan he carved from an apple.

Dmitri, age 13

Dmitry is in 6th grade. He especially enjoys art classes and drawing. He likes the color black. Winter is his favorite season because the new year comes and children get presents. He likes to eat potatoes and would like to have a cat. He likes his best friend, Denis because Denis is a good student. Dmitry would like to be a worker when he grows up. He has worked hard in America to keep his things organized and neat. His host family loves his great attitude and how he is always ready to go. His host family gave Dmitry a one dollar bill which he treasures, taking it with him everywhere he goes. They ached at last Tuesday’s evening program to leap up and tell the audience what a great kid he is. He was so proud to see his photo in the evening program brochure.

Lima, age 11

Lima enjoys math in her third grade class. Her favorite season is summer because her orphanage sends kids to camp where they can swim. She likes fairy tales; her favorite is a story about three pigs. Lima is friendly and talkative, and she likes the color yellow; the orphanage social worker calls her the "sunshine girl"! Lima likes to help and receive attention. She would like to be a doctor some day because she wants to help people feel well. Her biological sister has been adopted by an American family; Lima dreams of seeing her again if she gets a chance to return to America. She was able to speak to her sister on the phone Wednesday and she couldn't stop smiling or saying, "I love you!" afterward. Lima’s sister has been asking everyone her family meets in Michigan if they would adopt her sister, since she knows what a blessing it is to have a family. She wants her biological sister to have this same blessing.

If you know of anyone who might be interested in any of these children, please contact me at (616) 245-3216; the children return home to Russia early Sunday, January 18. We are getting down to the wire, but it is not yet too late!

Remembering the Kids Who Wait

This is a difficult entry to write, as the end of our Tulsa November Lighthouse Project has come sooner for seven of the children scheduled to arrive this evening. One orphanage on the trip, represented by seven children, is under a medical quarantine due to an outbreak of dysentery. The head of the Ministry of Health of the specific region of Russia is not allowing any of the children from that orphanage scheduled to travel to come; thus, there will be only six children on the trip. The children affected are Anton, Alexei P., Lima, Denis, Ekaterina, Nikolai, and Dima P. It would be hard to overstate how sad this makes me, as the children are terribly disappointed. Additionally, the families have thrown themselves into preparing for this trip so enthusiastically that it was devastating to have to deliver this news to them. These families are still true host families, as they’ve been hosting these children in their hearts. Please keep these disappointed and sick children, as well as their Tulsa families, in your prayers.

As these children have passports, plane tickets, and visas good for six months, my plan is to return to Tulsa in January for another trip, hopefully with additional children. These seven should be able to visit Tulsa at that time. Each host family who planned to host one of these kids will, of course, have first priority to host the same child in January, assuming the child is in condition to make the trip. Exact dates will be announced, though it appears the trip will be the early part of the month.

I am experiencing much emotional dissonance: on the one hand, great sadness for the children and families who will not meet each other in November, and hope for the children God has allowed to actually come. I am cognizant that the six remaining children deserve to have a wonderful trip where they find their families, but behind my necessary enthusiasm for the trip as it now is, I remember with great emptiness and sorrow the seven children I thought would be here. I will smile and work vigorously for the trip, but please know I have not forgotten the kids who wait. That said, I am obligated to switch gears and work toward finding families for the kids we’ll meet tonight.

But I have not forgotten…

Tulsa, Here We Come!

The Russian Orphan Lighthouse Project is delighted to announce our Tulsa, Oklahoma, trip kids will be arriving at the end of next week! Several Russian orphans will be staying with Tulsa-area families for ten days before they return to their orphanages, hopefully having met a family who wants to adopt them.

Nikolai (left) wants to go to America. He likes drawing, physical education, and dreams of being a builder when he grows up. Denis (right), a shy boy with a sweet smile, promised his interviewer to look at her, and kept his end of the bargain. He enjoys physical education and making crafts, even making shoes at his orphanage. Both boys, aged 13, still need host families or they will be unable to travel.

In their mid- to late teens children in Russian orphanages age out of the system, frequently turning to lives of crime or prostitution to support themselves. Most adoptive families desire children as young as possible. Children ages two or three are already considered “older” by adoption standards and, therefore, hard to place. Children the age of Denis or Nikolai have little hope that a family will ever travel to Russia to find and adopt them. Recognizing this, the Lighthouse Project brings Russian orphans ages 7-15 to the United States for ten-day hosting trips, partnering this time with Grace Baptist Church of Owasso. While here, children stay with host families, participate in a Russian-language Vacation Bible School, receive a Russian Bible, and enjoy family activities and attention not available in an orphanage. When families spend time with a child, they are much more open to considering adoption of that child. The program has been successful in its mission: since 1998, the forty Lighthouse Project trips to several states have helped more than 300 Russian orphans find families. The vast majority of these children would not have been adopted had they remained in their orphanages waiting for a family to come looking for them.

There are eleven other children on the trip, each with their own compelling story. In the coming days, you’ll hear about each of the kids coming and have a chance to follow them on the journey we are praying leads them to a forever family. The children will present a program for the community during the stay, and they would love to meet you there! For more information on the Tulsa trip, Russian adoption, or to host Denis or Nikolai, please call Tulsa Lighthouse Project Coordinator Becky De Nooy at (616) 245-3216 or visit http://www.lhproject.com/ .

Get ready, Tulsa! Here we come!